The Neverending Story?

Stories are weird and beautiful things.
The idea of this thread, is that i am going to start off a story with a sentence.... then the next person to post will continue on with the story, and we can keep going on in this fashion.

For how long will we go? who knows, possibly forever... possibly only a week...but there really is only one way to find out, so without further ado...

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The Story starts in a shady bar in Las Vegas. this is where Jiim Jumps out of his chair and Yells....


TO BE CONTINUED!

"u seem to have lost ur other breast my dear "

Or


"Pick me up off the floor! I forgot I was a paraplegic!"

And then jim proceeded to grab the scissors

and using these special sissors, he created one of the greatest things you would ever see in your whole life. Make that four lifetimes! this thing... it made people cry, it made them lie, and it made some.... groove on the dance floor. The item in question was called......

bannana pie

Banana Pie made Jims legs work again! It was amazing stuff.

He felt like he could fly so he ran down to the nearest shop for midgets and

paraplegics, and asked the shopkeeper if he had ever seen or heard of anything so amazing

the shop keeper responded we did have one guy here once telling us that people were on ....

their bikes travelling for miles and miles. They had one goal and one purpose. So they gathered togeather and travelled to...

bat country

Yes, Bat country. here is where he would begin his crusade, and show the world that he was made of sterner stuff than Soft apple pie. He gathered his fiends. Their names and descriptions were...

Apple from Alabama and Jenny from texas there missions in life where to save the dying breed of Lamas and

------out of story for sec----

id like to see some different people adding to the story! helps the story become very very twisted and different!
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they were going to save the dying lamas, and forge the way for a new world! so Jim, Apple and Jenny, lept onto their travelling bikes, and traversed through Bat Country. they ran into a short elderly chap, called Chip. Now chip was heavly tattoed man, who had a nasty attitude towards Peaches. something about them just drove him mad. He saw Jim and crew and gave them a piece of advice, that was so vital if they hadnt had it.... they would never complete the crusade. What he said, was...

_out of story for a sec_

we have a thread called the Ravers Fairytale which is very much this thread... only its already been established...
http://anthems.com.au/forum/http://anthems.com.au/forum/index.php?showtopic=2262

but ahm... hmmm yeah!....
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"Hay makes a cow fat - and so does a bull"
If you remember these words and if you understand them, then you will never get yourself in trouble.... stay out of the grass and take no bull from anything

...." I hate farken peaches, with all their peach fuzz and big stoned center!" "I hate farken peaches"

...."now yous say Lamas eh!...... I remember a Lorenzo Lamas....., or was it the Lamas brothers from farken peach country?!" "FARKEN PEACHES!!"......anyways to save the lama you must FIRST go back to THE SHADY LADY (shady las vegas bar) .....seek out the paraplegic lady with the one tit and the magical scissors...she can see things and cut stuff up!!
"FARKEN PEACHES!!!!!" FUZZ OFF!

So off did go, Jim and crew, back to the shady lady bar in Las Vegas to seek out the paraplegic lady with the one tit and magical scissors................leaving Chip to his merciless, and some might say sadistic pursuit of Peach shaving.....

** is confused between my post of the story and 'the_real_naked_chef's' one**

And then a monkey breaks his leg in the jungle, scared for the goats life his bowling ball fall dead stupidly god floats fish up into the sky for your benifit....shit shouldn't have eaten that banana pie

It was maddness! legs were laying about everywhere, screetching in agony. Jim turned to his merry crew and realised... they were GONE!

" How could this have happened?" he proclaimed to noone in particular.

He then surveyed his surroundings. he was in a small alleyway behind some weird strip joint/casino building. He decided he needed new friends to acompany him on his journy. so he made his way into the strip club. inside he saw.....

voodoo people doing a sacrafice to there GOD called.....

"your my angel, your the only sunshine in my life, feels like heaven when you take me in your arms"

They believed "your my angel, your the only sunshine in my life, feels like heaven when you take me in your arms" to be a very powerful yet blissfull god...whom nobody dared to question for fear of HER wrath!!!

but then they realised that god could not possibly have a gender because god is omnipotent and can create man or woman and is not sexist or judgemental. so on their merry way they went to search for the monkey with the banana pie who could quite possibly live in the sky and i dont know why she swallowed a fly perhaps she'll die..........

but then she didn't cause god blew up, but it's chilled we shall now pronounce cris p as god unfortunatly now that you are god we're gonna have to cut off your genitals

oh damn not my genitals said I. I was hoping i could use those later tonight. but that ok I am god now so i can create myself some new ones.

"but then i might blow up also cause i just swallowed a fly when i was looking for my monkey man friend, but thats OK cause derek is here to save the day. he ate some hay and blew away. and maybe derek likes to rhyme as much as i do about dumb stuff" said god (me)

and then they started again on their merry journey to "where was it we were going again?"

said that guy whos name i cant remember..............

Jiim ... jim was his holy name. Jiim with two i's

Jiim turned to the world and announced that he had now a new faith to follow. this was the faith of crIs P's oppressive undergod, Maori Messiah. Maori ( in shorts) was dedicated to underminning each and every holy plan layed out but the mysterious crIs P. crIs P would goto the toilet, and Maori would spontaneously combust each and every toilet crIs P got near, until he had wet himself.

It was a dark and gloomy path to follow, but someone had to do it. and with the loss of his monkey, and his Banana Pie, Jiim not knew what to do. he was a simple crude man, who knew no better. He decided in light of his spontaneous change in his outlook and belief in the world, it would be a grand idea, to leave the small desolate city of Las Vegas(i think) and decided he wanted to goto.....

DISNYLAND........were he could get more followers to his and Maori Messiah evil religion of banana pie eating monkeys

how warped was this thread!
oops

no this is not the one! there was a much longer one damn it!

the ravers fairytale...

same same really

but different

the ravers fairytale? I like the sounds of that

Jim suddenly died from a heart attack.

The end

very optimistic.

(ooh i love this thread! hahaha)
More stories! more more!

Once on a hill not too far from here there were .....

grave stones

engraved with JIM LIVES HERE

and those gravestones had sitting beside them ...

a empty bottle of Jim Beam

which made her mad because

it bad to waste

who is her? i never heard a character mentioned....

said the man in the green hat who also wasn't mentioned...

"She was his wife if you must know " said the narrator " she never really had a chance to get to know him though she was a magzine bride and he dead on thier wedding day"

"that damn bottle of jim" she screamed "what now? huh huh huh? what now?"

suddenly the american bible bashers crashed in through the skylight and dry wall and demanded this farce of a marriage continue irregardless of personal issues

"but my husband is dead! what are you going to do bring him back to life?" She said looking at the tallest guy stand at the back of the room, while dusting the dry wall dust off her clothes

The guy at the back of the room didnt seem to fit in with the rest of the men who came from everywhere.... almost like he had been there before they had arrived...

"ive been disguised as wallpaper for the last 15 years" he said in a very deep manly voice (which was a lot like my own but less monotone like)

And He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

*had to use it*

"oh my you are wise!" said the woman who actually doesnt exist because she was never introduced into the story
"ive been looking for a man of you calibre for quite some time now. one who can speak of the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without a box with a pinhole in it to high school children who has been hiding inside my wallpaper for 15 years. i have a job for you...."

She grabbed the man by the arms and rushed him away from all the weird bible bashers... "they will follow if we dont run fast enough, slow minded folk they are but once they catch on they run like the wind... Oh I am sorry did I forget to introduse myself?"
The man just looked at her in suprise.. " you have a job for me, that is not why I came I have a job for you... I already know who you are" he said with a grin. " the is a river at the edge of the cemitary, we must go there...."

they have candy and chocolate" said the 2 headed dwarf. Once we wat the candy and coffee we can fly to the moon where space aliens can..